THIS WEEK ON MERP...
Hi, I'm Blarg Wilson, your first choice when it comes to current affairs. All these stories I report on are true, (providing you trust the internet!), I have just added my own little touch to them...
This week on merp a video has been discovered on the internet with footage of vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin in a one piece Swimsuit. We'ld tell you more, like, what happened in the video for instance, but we don't want our eyes to be scarred for life.
In other news, a Legendary Long Distance runner by the name of Haile Gebrselassie has broken the world record for the marathon in an event in Berlin. In fact he actually broke the record twice, because the called him back after he had run it the first time as the announcer had not yet finished trying to read out his name.
This week, a new version of the hit channel nine TV show (hit meaning if you don't turn of that gay show i'll hit you!) Farmer wants a wife. The new show 'Farmer wants a husband' was an instand success, all the gay forty year old men who watch channel nine, who are also the only people who watched channel nine, were instantly hooked, intrigued as to how a Gay farmer searching for a gay city slicker husband would turn out. However the ratings took a downwards turn when everyone was dissapointed to discover that the show wasnt about a gay farmer, it was about a female farmer. The Gay population of Tasmania has begun a siege on the channel nine studios, demanding for Bert Newton to explain why they started a rumor that there was such thing as a female farmer. The premier of Tasmania has called for Bert Newton to co-operate saying 'Our streets are deserted!'
Headline of the week:
Ralph News - 72 Year old Grandad pregnant! (Ninemsn.com.au 1 of October 08)
That's all from me folks! Tune in next week to hear about the aftermath of theSarah Palin video, hundreads feared to already be dead. That's next week on merp...
But now, star writer Nic has dug up some dirt on Paddington bear!
That's right, your friend, your family, your peer, your queer, Paddington B. Bear!
Paddington Bear has finally come out of the closet! No questions asked, he just went out there and put the issue on the table, saying "I can't take it anymore! It's burning inside me! The darkness of this secret is engulfing me!
Pictured below:
