Anything that makes you chuckle on the inside qualifies to be on this page.
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Jokes
Jokes
What's 2 feet high, 6 feet wide, and can't turn around in a hallway? A baby with a Javlin through it's neck!
What's worse than a baby in a blender? A baby in two blenders!
What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A PILOT YOU BLOODY RACIST!
What did Michael Jackson say to the Pedifile? I'll give you two fives for a ten!
Who clean's the toilets in Nemo's home (Finding Nemo)? No-one, he's a bloody fish!
Why did the blonde cross the road? What's the bitch doing out of the kitchen?
How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch work in the dark!
What kind of wrist-watch did the blonde have? She didn't, there's a clock on the oven!
Why did the guy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at him!
How many cars were in the Parking lot? Seventeen!
Still need to laugh your head off?*
Then go laugh your head off, idiot!
Then go laugh your head off, idiot!
*Please note: Our lawyers will not cover any injuies caused by laughing your head off, as we have no lawyers.
In the Japanese language, They have an alphabet of sounds instead of letters. Most of the time when learning Japanese you will have little tricks to help you remember what a sound means. For example, the Symbol for 'Mu' looks like a moose. So you would say 'Mu is for Moose. See how that works? Mu, Moo, Mu, Moose? Anyway, you get the idea.
Heres a few we found amusing.
Ho is for Hole in a Tree.
Nn is for Bowtie.
Wa is for Wonderfull.
Fu is for Fantastic.
Co is for Coin
Ya is for Ball of Yarn
No is for Nobleman's Nose
Strawny Presents
The joke of the week! #9
A really drunk woman walks into a bar. She sits down at the bar and yells, "Heyyyy tenderbar, gimme a tinimar with a pickle on top." The bartender gives her a drink, she drinks it down and then goes, "Arrrgh, heartburn!"
Again the drunk woman says, "Heyyyy tenderbar, gimme a tinnimar with a pickle on top." Again she drinks the drink and says, "Arrgh, heartburn!" This happens a few more times until the bartender says, "Now look here. It's not tenderbar it's bartender. It's not tinimar, it's martini. It's not a pickle it's an olive, and its not heartburn you have, your left tit is hanging in the ashtray!
Strawny Presents
The joke of the week! #8
Jim phones his office one morning and says to his boss, 'Boss, I'm not coming in today, I'm sick.'
His boss says, 'Exactly how sick are ya?'
Jim replies, 'Well I'm in bed with my sister and I think I've got a gerbil up my arse!'
Strawny Presents
The joke of the week! #7
A woman walks into a chemist and asks "Do you have any viagra?". The pharmacist replies, "Yes I do.".
"Does it really work?" She asks. "It certainly does." he chuckles. "Can you get it over the counter?" She says. "If I take two of them." he answers.
Strawny Presents
The joke of the week! #6
What's blue and yellow and sits on the botom of a pool?
A baby with slashed floaties.
What's red and yellow and sits on the top of the pool?
Floaties with slashed babies.
Strawny Presents
The joke of the week! #5
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
Strawny Presents
The joke of the week!#4
A young boy has lost his father and asks a police officer for help. The police officer says, "what's your dad like." the boy replies "Beer and women."
Some random hobo presents...
Apertiser of the week!
This guy ate a steak and it gave him skin cancer, aids and gangrene in the face. The steaks $9.50 by the way.
Strawny Presents
The joke of the week!#3
A father asks his ten year old son, Johnny, if he knows about the birds and the bees.
"I don't want to know," Johnny says, bursting into tears.
Confused, the father asks Johnny what is wrong.
"Oh daddy," Johnny sobs. "At age six I got the there's no santa speech. At age seven I got the there's no easter bunny speech. Then at age eight you hit me with the there's no toothfairy speech! If now you're going to tell me that grown ups don't really screw then i've got nothing left to live for!"
Strawny Presents
The joke of the week!#2
Two chinese people have just got married.
They are in their honeymoon suite and the husband knows that his wife is a virgin but she doesn't know that he is. He is trying to pretend that he is not and act all confident so he says, "I give you anyting you want, anyting at all. You just ask and I give it to you." So his new wife says nervously, "Well I have been talking to my friends and they say I should do the 69er." The husband looks puzzled and says, "You want garic chicken with coriflour?"
Strawny Presents
The Joke of the week!#1
A vicar is walking along in his local town when he sees a little boy pouring chemicals on ants. The vicar says "What's that you've got there little fella". The boy says "Sulphuric acid! This stuff is mad!". The priest, trying to discourage the boy says "Well i'll tell you what young man. I put some holy water on a pregnant woman's tummy and she passed a baby. Right there and then." The boy scoffs at the vicar and says "You think that's something, I put some of this stuff on a cat's arse and it passed a bloody motorbike!"A paragraph for blind persons...
Since you cannot see this, I will take the opportunity to say I DON'T LIKE YOU.
Furthermore, YOU CANNOT COOK. And when I said that your hair looked nice, I WAS LYING.
So there.
